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Welcome to dongzhugui.blogspot.com
Thursday, 1 January 2009Y

it would be great if time were to pass as quickly as wat it seemed in 2008 when i am in china from feb to july this year.

its another brand new year again, and everything seemed to happen so quickly without me noticing. often, it was only when my birthday finally arrived whereas everyone have celebrated theirs, when it dawned on me that one year has passed, just like that. not that i have failed to accomplish anything or spend it wisely, i do think my 2008 was rather eventful with the following:

1. watched a total of 4 concerts. firstly, david tao's world tour, Angela's live, Lee hom's music tour, and Fahrenheit Fantasy. in which all i have truly enjoyed.

2. participated in a number of volunterring events and of cos leo club activities. it was my first time being involved in marathons, especially the Adidas sundown marathon which is an overnight race. although it was really draining and i can only count myself unlucky to be allocated to the 100 plus drink station, whereby i ended up getting my pants all sticky and dirty(do not wish to be reminded of the details regarding the making, pouring and distributing of the 100 plus drink. developed a phobia towards the drink for a while then). but that aside, volunteering in marathons like this was a very fulfilling experience after all, and i really treasure that volunteering opportunity.

3. HOKKAIDO TRIP with family. 'NICE' is the only word that is simple and straight forward enough to describe everything there. nice food, nice scenery, nice hotspring, nice streets, nice rooms, nice toilets, nice people, nice culture and most importantly, nice family-bonding time. simply nice. and it is definitely a nice and unforgettable trip for me and my family. (:

4. SOCCER CRAZE AND OLYMPIC FEVER. with my already existing and new found sports idols like c.ronaldo, lin dan, liu xiang, micheal phelps, feng tian wei, and zhang yi ning.

5. ETHAN RUAN XIAO TIAN, ZAC EFRON, ZZEN ZHANG AND JOANNE PEH. speaking of idols, i have to introduce my new found idols in the entertainment circle/showbiz this year. ethan and zefron who captivated me with their awesome looks and acting skills in Fated To Love and High School Musical respectively. Zzen and joanne whom i really look up to, as they are so professional in their acting, (i am talking about the successful show Little Nyonya obviously) and of cos zzen is always that handsome and cute (of cos in real person too! )despite him acting as a really despicable character but i still love him. haha and joanne peh whom i started paying attention to only recently. she's seriously a babe! JIAYOU TO ALL MY IDOLS!!!

6. not forgetting RADIO 1003 fight club and 7th birthday bash. to me, it was already a great satisfaction being able to be ON AIR LIVE and stepping into the studio itself to experience live broadcasting over the radio.

7. being the emcee for np parents seminar 08. great experience but..): i can do better..

8. accomplished my task in participating and planning of farewell, welcome party and mid-autumn festival event.

9. survived my first sem of year 2 and is only left with less than 2 months before i bid my last sem of yr 2 goodbye and head for china to start my 'devastating' life there.

10. loss of my grandpa but at the same time gain of kinship. (from cousins, aunts and my own family)

11....

12....

13....

14...

..............


there are still a lot more to recollect but i guess memories, be it good or bad, are meant to be locked up in a discreet corner of my mind and heart, only to be reminisced whenever the nights come and when saturations of thoughts come shoving against each other in my head again.



just to sum up, 2008 was a year with highs and lows, ups and downs, gains and losses, but i learnt a lot along the way. learnt to be stronger, learnt to take things easily, and learnt to think positively no matter the circumstances i am in.
although i still have wishes unfulfilled and goals unachieved, but let them be new targets and resolutions aimed to accomplish and come true in 2009.

besides the cliche wishes like being happy and healthy, i am still sorting out my new year resolutions. perhaps, it is not about what i want to do or hope to complete, but how i am going to work hard to achieve them. but i do have an expectation about myself in 2009, which is to learn to look at things with a wider and broader perspective, and taking things one step at a time, one day at a time one moment at a time.

we do not know what the year ahead has installed for us, but may it be a smooth-sailing and peaceful one for all.

happy new year! (:

11:45 PM

Saturday, 20 December 2008Y



i have long decided to give FAHRENHEIT FANTASY WORLD TOUR on the 19th of dec a miss but who knows, my mum treated me to watch it, and what added to the completely ecstatic mood of mine was that we were so lucky to be offered a better seat that was situated closer to the stage(basically the other block nearer to the centre).. to put it in a nicer manner, the reason was so as to make the whole stadium look more packed, since the ticket sales was apparently not that fantastic.. as in those fanatics would definitely buy the most expensive tickets to get the best seats, while the other fans like me, who are only students and couldnt afford the price will end up not going or merely be contented with the seats of the cheapest price.. so the seats that are of the middle pricing will be barely taken up.. thus those pple of the second category i just mentioned will be so lucky to help 'fill up' the seats there.. haha and ya i am one of the lucky ones.. =p

although the seats i was given still seemed quite far from the stage, it was a rather comfortable distance for me.. (: anw the main thing is I HAVE FULLY ENJOYED MYSELF AT THE CONCERT!!!!!! and that's enough for me to be down with 'fahrenheit-fever' again..


well, i understand that many pple especially those working in the media industry will often think that all the so called 'idol-type' bands have got only attractive looks that mesmerise teenage girls and drive them insane, but do not possess real talent or potential that can bring them far.. i admit this fact to a certain extent but i seriously think we should not be affected by these stereotypical evaluations so much so that all their hard work and efforts have to be written off before even being barely recognised..

FAHRENHEIT, for one, is also being said to stir yet another 'idol-fever' but will diminish once another boyband take over their leading position right now. take F4, 5566 and whoever else that nearly swept all tennage girls even guys off their feet as an example, are they still as attractive and popular nowadays? the answer is apparently not and thus fahrenheit faces the same 'crisis' and worrisome future.

but we often develop this kind of perception becos we tend to compare. no matter if its comparing them with other idol-type boybands, or comparing them with other more experienced singers or with those who are said-to have the real strength and potential.. i mean, its not that we couldnt compare, but we should look at all the different bands and singers as each seperate and unique individual. every one of them are catered to different groups of supporters, and they belong to different catergories. so if there were really a need to compare, the only thing we should compare would be themselves, yes, compare with themselves.

not that i am a fanatic of fahrenheit, (although i am crazy about dadong in particular), and i knew very clearly that they couldn't sing that well, (its evident), but at least i knew they have indeed worked very hard to come this far. one main reason is becos i have supported them since they entered showbiz. and they have grown, matured, and i have witnessed their improvement, in terms of live-singing, dancing, stage charisma, confidence level, communication skills and the ability to react to the media and the public. their improvement might not be tremendous, but comparing their performance now and in the past, that significant improvement is worth a rewarding applause.

and we couldnt dismiss the fact that they have achieved outstanding results throughout the yr, every one of them have their own drama serials, one even had the opportunity to have his first appearance on the silver screen, all were busy with their own work, and now they come together as a whole once again to bring out the best of themselves.

the future is unpredictable for them. but judging from their passion, determination and perseverance for their job, (insisting on performing and practising and trying hard to neglect the pain despite injuries) i believe there are still plenty of opportunities awaiting them to stretch their potential to the fullest.



all the best fahrenheit and of cos, my lovely ROCKER DONG!!!<333
you guys will do well as long as u don't give up hope!! (:

1:12 AM

Friday, 12 December 2008Y

OMG I SIMPLY LOVE THIS YEAR'S DECEMBER 26th!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE 2 OF MY IDOLS ARE RELEASING THEIR RESPECTIVE ALBUMS ON THIS BIG DAY!!!!!!!

although this meant that i would have to drill a hole in my pocket on my BIRTHDAY, and i am forking out money instead of receiving it.. (unless any kind soul would like to buy for me.. i would be more than grateful.. *ERHEM*) but i am more than willing to do that.. simply becos i know all will be worthwhile.. (:

jus in case u are wondering, the 2 idols are none other than my LAOGONG LUO ZHI XIANG and talented MUSIC MAN LEEHOM!!!

thanks for making my birthday this year such a special one.. their albums are a great pleasure to me and i consider them as one of my best presents ever..

wat i can only say is.. 26/12 is simply such a good date..
and i will remember 26/12/2008 particularly.. despite the fact that i have to rush to complete piles of assignments and projects.. well frankly speaking its not that much but just one freaking assignment is enough to take up the whole of my time..

but thanks xiangxiang and leehom for going thru all these with me..HAHAHAHA...
and woohoo i have preordered fahrenheit's album but they are only releasing it on the 2nd day of the next month which is like next yr.. i thought it would also be in the month of december.. and it would be triple happiness for me if they are gonna release it on my bday too.. but its ok i am an easily satisfied gal.. (:


预祝亚洲舞王罗志祥能再次掀起另一波《潮男正传》热,
也希望音乐才子王力宏能让歌迷从他的创作中感受到《心跳》的理由。

祝唱片大卖!!!!!!!

加油~~~~~

1:00 AM

Monday, 1 December 2008Y

after going on an emotional roller-coaster ride for the past one week, i am now back to my normal self, the usual me who cracks lame jokes at an unexpected point of time, the usual ahjun my friends know of me..
it has been a busy week but looking back, i kinda missed the days i spent with all my family members.. it was such a rare occasion that all of us could actually gather together.. though it was for such a bereavement this time round..but i can feel the warmth around me..i hope ahgong felt that too..
time and tide indeed waits for no man.. life is just so vulnerable.. at least i know ahgong is happily living with my ahma in the other side of the world now.. (:

on a happier note, its the start of dec, a start of a new month now! so i shall make a change to my mood, and await a fresh new beginning! especially since december is a much anticipated month!!

because...........................













my XIAOZHU LUOZHIXIANG is gonna release his new album 《潮男正传》 sooooooonnnn!!!





and according to wat i heard of, the actual release date IS ON MY BIRTHDAY 26TH OF DEC!!!! OMG I LOVE U LUOZHXIANG!!! i have been praying and hoping that my idols like him and dadong can have their concerts held or albums released on my bday and now this wilful wish of mine has finally came true!!! wat a wonderful gift from xiaozhu to me!! LOVEEEEE YOU XIANGXIANG AHHHHHHH!!! u have totally brighten up my spirits and brought me strength and motivation to carry on..!!!!

the preorder in taiwan starts tommorrow but i am not sure if the same applies to spore..i still remember his SHOW ON STAGE s'pore concert was exactly 1 yr before which is 1st of dec 2007.. and his last album was released in november last yr.. so i have waited for like more than 1 year for his next album and now its FINALLY HERE!!!!! GOSH I AM SO HIGH SO HIGH SO ELATED SO EXCITED TOTALLY GONE INSANE!!!
well, not that exaggerating yet but i just wanna emphasise on how much i am looking forward to his new album, new songs, new DANCE, new surprises!!!!

and not forgetting his new hairstyle which is SHUAI DAO BAO!! but he's always tat shuai no matter wat! haha!! this album will be comprising of his different hairstyles and sense of fashion since the days he entered showbiz when he was with the band 四大天王.. so basically i suppose the album would be like capturing the different stages and of how much he has changed and grown since then..

just that i knew very well i wouldnt be able to attend his a/s UNLESS he were to come to spore before or during feb.. which is obviously impossible cos thats like only 1-2 months after the release of his album.. we always have to wait for at least a few months time before he starts his promotion here..
but nvm i will find my own solution to this problem.. i want to have him sign on the album no matter wat!!!! unless he were to go to wuhan for his a/s..which i think the chances are as slim or equalivent to zero.. becos i have never heard of him going to that area in china for any events before!.. so ya.. i can only pray for the best..

LUOZHIXIANG IS <3333333




ps: how i wish i can stay in spore to attend his a/s and also for fahrenheit's events.. heard that their album will also be released soon.. but i have no choice!!!

*criess but i have luozhixiang with me!! slaps myself but refuse to accept reality*

6:33 PM

Wednesday, 26 November 2008Y

你有亲眼看过,亲身经历过一群人因为失去了最心爱的人而五内俱焚,在你身边号啕大哭,撕裂呐喊吗?
也许你有,但我没有。一直都只有在电视上看过类似的情节,有时甚至因为太过投入,还会跟着主角的心情一样,剧烈起伏。

今天,我第一次接触到这样的情况,第一次置身在这样悲伤的氛围,第一次不是因为感人的剧情而抽泣。在外公的遗体被缓缓托运进去焚化炉的时候,大表姐不能自主地痛哭流涕,直喊外公的名字;然后是二表姐,舅妈,诗琴表姐,二姨,三姨,小姨,向来坚强的妈也暗自落泪,甚至是年幼的侄子侄女都无法控制地痛苦哀号。我的身旁啼哭声连绵不绝,本来告诉自己不准哭,不能哭,不会哭;结果情绪上还是受到牵连,泪水最终不由自主地夺眶而出。。。

我无法想象原本好好的一个人,死后的样子会变得多么像一座被雕刻出来的蜡像,多么虚假不实在,没有血气,没有情感;仍然有五脏六腑,有皮肤,有头发,有眼睛,有鼻子,有嘴巴;但却要被焚化,顿时面目全非,只剩下被高压烈火焚烧飞溅后所残留下来的碎骨。。其余的什么也没有。。我只觉得很残忍,很残忍,但我也知道死人是不可能会有知觉的,焚化后,他们就真的能够得到解脱了,到属于他们的极乐世界去。。

只是现在的心变得好空虚,好空虚。。就连我最喜爱的娱乐百分百都没办法让我振奋起来。。 本来以为心情已经好起来了,结果今天外公出殡的最后一天,还是败下阵来。。我曾经说过我和外公的关系不是很亲密,感情也不是很深厚,但我不知道为什么,我的内心还是很不舍,很难受。。

这几天一直忙着外公的后事,大家都累坏了。。尤其是妈,每天都睡不足。。希望在一切结束之后,她可以好好的在家休息。。

而我也因为外公的事,加上家里也发生了一些事,所以想了很多,很多,很多。。害怕,畏惧,感慨,无奈,不同情绪相互交替,使我的心久久无法平息。。也因为这些翻腾的情绪和思绪,使我领悟出了一些人生的道理,同时又迷失在自己的人生方向里。。坦白说,现在的我有些彷徨,但不至于无助。。放心,我会好起来的。。我会的。




外公,这一次,真的要跟你说再见了。。永远地再见了。。
希望如果有来生,我还能再当您的孙女,而且是和您关系要好的孙女,可以不顾年龄差距、无话不谈的孙女。。

愿您在天之灵可以和外婆一起过得更快乐。。

一路好走。。

5:01 PM

Saturday, 22 November 2008Y

外公,对不起,没能来得及见您最后一面。。接到消息时,已经太迟了。。
两天前去探望您,您痛苦呻吟,每一口呼吸都百般地辛苦,眼睛紧闭着,手脚僵硬着。。
两天后再来看您,您已经完全没了心跳鼻息,整个身体僵硬而冰冷。。整张脸惨白毫无血色。。我没哭。。只是呆望着你许久,许久。。
直到我看到哥哥哀伤的神情。。眼角滚动的几滴泪水才忍不住掉了下来。。因为我从没看过哥哥那样地伤心,从来都没有。。他也曾经承认过他是个冷酷的人。。不是无情,只是不常把内心情感表达出来。。而今天的他却把压抑住的伤感毫无掩饰地表露在他脸上。。不知怎的,看到他这样,我的喉头和鼻尖就酸酸的。。而这一晚。。我和他也头一次聊了这么多。。
哥,我好希望我们可以一直都维持着这样的关系。。

不过无论如何。。我想当时的外公还是幸福的,有这么多人陪着您,大儿子,几个女儿,孙女,还有每天照顾您的佣人。。。所以我想,外公,您的确是安详地到了极乐世界去。。您很坚强,几次都逃过死神的魔掌活了下来。。您的生命力非常地顽强,即使病魔无情地侵袭着您的身体,您却还能支撑到底。。一直到。。今天。。您才真的。。累了。。没有力气了。。不得不放弃了。。

现在的您,至少得到了解脱,不再痛苦了。。

外公,您安心上路吧。一路好走。



昨天听阿肯介绍了一首网络流传歌曲《最后一次》。。而关于这首歌的背景和演唱人,也有很多不同的传言。。不过普遍说法是这位17岁女生在得知自己患了癌症后,创作了这首歌献给她的爱人。。当她唱完最后一句的时候,她的生命也跟着终结了。。也有人说她得知自己得了重病,在自杀前写了这首歌给她的男友,要他继续活下去。。
姑且不论这首歌曲是在什么情况下创作和唱完的。。也不谈这首歌的演唱人是谁。。我注意到的是这首歌曲简单而感人的词和曲。。这么直接地唱出了女生的辛酸和悲哀。。现在重复听着这首歌曲。。额外地能够进入其意境和状况。。

有空不妨听听看。。保证能打动您的心。。





今天在得知外公去世的消息前,看了《大卫必佳》。。不过我想再过一阵子才来写我的观后感吧。。



明天开始,应该是连续三天都需要处理外公的后事。。 心情方面,应该还要做些调整。。

妈,您也要坚强哦。。

大家加油。。

10:35 PM

Saturday, 15 November 2008Y

DISAPPOINTED. truly, seriously, utterly, completely DISAPPOINTED. and i simply couldnt help brooding over that particular moment where my mind just went blank. i wished i could have a second chance. one more chance. i just want to prove that i can do it without. any. mistake. i just want to prove it. one more time.

suddenly, i have all the urge to show all the people around me that i am not what they think of me.

suddenly, i have all the courage to do that tiring and time-consuming yet fruitful and meaningful event once again.

suddenly, i have all the determination to charge all the way through just to see how far my potential and capability can take me to.

BUT,

suddenly, i feel so weak that one faint tap on my shoulders will send me falling on my knees.

suddenly, i feel so frail that i couldnt even withstand an insignificant blow.

suddenly, i feel so vulnerable that i might collapse upon a gentle stroke of the breeze.



my double personality reveals itself unknowingly again. and here i am struggling between the two. i hate being contradicting. but we humans always contradict ourselves, dont we? why do we always have to land ourselves in such a terrible and pitiful state. its such a joke. i want to laugh out so loud but i held back. see and i am contradicting myself again. and i hate it. but i just couldnt help it.

i do not like the hustle and bustle of the city yet i always find myself trying hard to squeeze my way through crowded streets.

i wish i can travel around the world but i have my concerns as i will miss home..

i aspire to be that someone but at the same time i dont wish to, as i do not want to carry the burden and stress that follows..

i have someone that i dislike but i chose to endure and give in..

i have someone that i like that i wish to make known but i decided and chose not to...

i have so much to say but i couldnt bring myself to say.

basically i am a self-contradicting coward.

right now, i have nothing to say.. i dont wish to say anything..

yet i have just typed quite a lot that i wanna say.


i shall stop my contradicting entry now but my fingers are still kept busy on the keyboard..


i just want a second chance. i just want to do it again. so that i can stop brooding over it. so that i can get over it.

perhaps, mum is right, i am just. not. suitable. and i do not have wat it takes.

but how can i prove that she's wrong and that i can do equally well to do her proud?

it all leaves to fate and luck, i suppose. such a cruel fact that should've dawned on me in the first place.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


ps: although all of us are prepared and we knew............we still hold on to that hope of grandpa recovering, or at least, stay with us for a longer period of time..


this is a random post with myriad of feelings... i apologise if u find this entry ridiculous, confusing or meaningless.

gals, see y'll soon during dec. i am really looking forward to that final break in dec before last week of feb.....

better late than never~

9:56 PM