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She is the one and only yijun, or u can call ahjun meimei :D
She just wants to live life to the fullest and make the best out of herself.
She loves her idols, friends and family and of course herself. <3
She hopes to achieve her simple dreams and that includes having a desired career, a good health, and a happy life. :)

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Gao Xiao 搞笑(CD version) - Luo Zhixiang 羅志祥

DISAPPOINTED. truly, seriously, utterly, completely DISAPPOINTED. and i simply couldnt help brooding over that particular moment where my mind just went blank. i wished i could have a second chance. one more chance. i just want to prove that i can do it without. any. mistake. i just want to prove it. one more time.

suddenly, i have all the urge to show all the people around me that i am not what they think of me.

suddenly, i have all the courage to do that tiring and time-consuming yet fruitful and meaningful event once again.

suddenly, i have all the determination to charge all the way through just to see how far my potential and capability can take me to.

BUT,

suddenly, i feel so weak that one faint tap on my shoulders will send me falling on my knees.

suddenly, i feel so frail that i couldnt even withstand an insignificant blow.

suddenly, i feel so vulnerable that i might collapse upon a gentle stroke of the breeze.



my double personality reveals itself unknowingly again. and here i am struggling between the two. i hate being contradicting. but we humans always contradict ourselves, dont we? why do we always have to land ourselves in such a terrible and pitiful state. its such a joke. i want to laugh out so loud but i held back. see and i am contradicting myself again. and i hate it. but i just couldnt help it.

i do not like the hustle and bustle of the city yet i always find myself trying hard to squeeze my way through crowded streets.

i wish i can travel around the world but i have my concerns as i will miss home..

i aspire to be that someone but at the same time i dont wish to, as i do not want to carry the burden and stress that follows..

i have someone that i dislike but i chose to endure and give in..

i have someone that i like that i wish to make known but i decided and chose not to...

i have so much to say but i couldnt bring myself to say.

basically i am a self-contradicting coward.

right now, i have nothing to say.. i dont wish to say anything..

yet i have just typed quite a lot that i wanna say.


i shall stop my contradicting entry now but my fingers are still kept busy on the keyboard..


i just want a second chance. i just want to do it again. so that i can stop brooding over it. so that i can get over it.

perhaps, mum is right, i am just. not. suitable. and i do not have wat it takes.

but how can i prove that she's wrong and that i can do equally well to do her proud?

it all leaves to fate and luck, i suppose. such a cruel fact that should've dawned on me in the first place.
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ps: although all of us are prepared and we knew............we still hold on to that hope of grandpa recovering, or at least, stay with us for a longer period of time..


this is a random post with myriad of feelings... i apologise if u find this entry ridiculous, confusing or meaningless.

gals, see y'll soon during dec. i am really looking forward to that final break in dec before last week of feb.....

better late than never~